When does shutting up really work?
Published by Vicksama under on 9/23/2009 11:16:00 PM
this r sum moments where u probably wish u din open ur mouth.
Situation 1;
a young lady by the bar sits on her own, a rather attractive specimen. so a guy walks into the bar n notices her.(DUH). he walks up to her;
LADY: Yes may i help u?
GUY: Wat's ur name doll?
LADY: Sarah
GUY: nice to meet u sarah, my name is Fred Flinstone n i'd like to make ur BEDROCK.
SLAP!
guys walks away ashamed of himself
Situation 2;
a newly transfered student(from a boys skul) juz joined a class in a coed skul. tis is juz one of the few reasons y dudes from boys skuls don fit in well in a coed skul;
TEACHER: alrite class, b4 we begin, wud u like to share anythin? mayb a joke or two?
NEW KID: -raises hand-
TEACHER: jeremy, u'd like to share a joke, with the class?
NEW KID: yes ma'am, What is the difference between an UNDERWEAR & a STAGE CURTAIN?
a brief silence swept the floor
TEACHER: hmm i dunno jeremy, wat's the answer? -smiles-
NEW KID:When you pull down the STAGE CURTAIN, the show is over, but when you pull down the UNDERWEAR..... it is SHOWTIME!
TEACHER:....
TEACHER: jeremy, principal's office now!
din jeremy wish he juz SHUT UP?? lol.
Situation 3;
a joke u definately don wanna share wen ur in a union of wifes; tell tat to this lesbian lady;
LESBIAN: What is the similarity between a wife and a chewing gum?
UNION: we dunno, wat?
LESBIAN: Both are sweet in the beginning but become tasteless and shapeless later.
DAMN!
Situation 4;
one bad advice a dad cud give son wen it's abt sex;
DAD: son i dunno y ur so excited abt tis subject really, i mean sex is like shaving.
SON: huh? wat? y is sex like shaving?
DAD: Well, because no matter how well you do it today... tomorrow you'll have to do it again...
dad..u juz made him even more horny..sighhh
Situation 5;
a government surveyor was assigned to test teenagers today on their general knowledge. however, most tests hv returned back with failed results. once tis test fails, the surveyor wud ask easier questions. for example, if he says a characteristic like smart, teenagers tested muz say the name of a politician tat comes to mind
SURVEYOR: so wat comes to mind wen i say "clueless"?
TEENAGER: PARLIMENT.
ouch!
Situation 6;
u noe wat's the most noble job on earth now? doc? soldier? nahhh... prostitutes la wei..
a married man saw this signboard outside a prostitute's house:
Married MEN not allowed. We serve the needy, not the greedy...
tis women shud b politicians la! LOL
A VICKSAMA ORIGINAL
Situation 1;
a young lady by the bar sits on her own, a rather attractive specimen. so a guy walks into the bar n notices her.(DUH). he walks up to her;
LADY: Yes may i help u?
GUY: Wat's ur name doll?
LADY: Sarah
GUY: nice to meet u sarah, my name is Fred Flinstone n i'd like to make ur BEDROCK.
SLAP!
guys walks away ashamed of himself
Situation 2;
a newly transfered student(from a boys skul) juz joined a class in a coed skul. tis is juz one of the few reasons y dudes from boys skuls don fit in well in a coed skul;
TEACHER: alrite class, b4 we begin, wud u like to share anythin? mayb a joke or two?
NEW KID: -raises hand-
TEACHER: jeremy, u'd like to share a joke, with the class?
NEW KID: yes ma'am, What is the difference between an UNDERWEAR & a STAGE CURTAIN?
a brief silence swept the floor
TEACHER: hmm i dunno jeremy, wat's the answer? -smiles-
NEW KID:When you pull down the STAGE CURTAIN, the show is over, but when you pull down the UNDERWEAR..... it is SHOWTIME!
TEACHER:....
TEACHER: jeremy, principal's office now!
din jeremy wish he juz SHUT UP?? lol.
Situation 3;
a joke u definately don wanna share wen ur in a union of wifes; tell tat to this lesbian lady;
LESBIAN: What is the similarity between a wife and a chewing gum?
UNION: we dunno, wat?
LESBIAN: Both are sweet in the beginning but become tasteless and shapeless later.
DAMN!
Situation 4;
one bad advice a dad cud give son wen it's abt sex;
DAD: son i dunno y ur so excited abt tis subject really, i mean sex is like shaving.
SON: huh? wat? y is sex like shaving?
DAD: Well, because no matter how well you do it today... tomorrow you'll have to do it again...
dad..u juz made him even more horny..sighhh
Situation 5;
a government surveyor was assigned to test teenagers today on their general knowledge. however, most tests hv returned back with failed results. once tis test fails, the surveyor wud ask easier questions. for example, if he says a characteristic like smart, teenagers tested muz say the name of a politician tat comes to mind
SURVEYOR: so wat comes to mind wen i say "clueless"?
TEENAGER: PARLIMENT.
ouch!
Situation 6;
u noe wat's the most noble job on earth now? doc? soldier? nahhh... prostitutes la wei..
a married man saw this signboard outside a prostitute's house:
Married MEN not allowed. We serve the needy, not the greedy...
tis women shud b politicians la! LOL
A VICKSAMA ORIGINAL
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