Social Retardness

These r sum situations tat u cud possibly hv experienced in ur daily lives... well not really but y not? afterall it is in fact rubbish :D

Situation 1:
Two young gentlemen r hving a conversation in the subway train below city ground level;

GUY1: Dei macha, ur phone got coverage ah?
GUY2: Yea...y dei?
GUY1: Haiyoo, my phone got no coverage laaaaa...
GUY2: Which network u using?
GUY1: celcom laaa... widest coverage my foot!
GUY2: machaa...don curse them, they r rite.
GUY1: huh?
GUY2: yea wat, widest coverage but not deepest coverage rite?

Situation 2:
A my fren of mine from overseas came down to spend his holidays in this country. well it is his 1st time, so many things tat happen here r really new to him. So there's this time when we passed by a sun newspaper stand, ppl tat juz walked on by, kept grabbing a copy. so he asked me\

Fren: y arent they paying for the papers they took?
Me: well it's free man...so y not

so yes. juz wen i tot i had tat doubt cleared sumtin else happened. the next day we passed by the same exact stand, no newspaper copies but there was a (HOT)white lady tourist tat was sitting on the stand, obviously cuz there were no seats n she din wanna sit on the floor. wen my fren saw her, he asked;

Fren: hey can i take her? afterall, like u said, it's free?
Me:.....

Situation 3:
2 frens discuss abt another fren's smokin habit;

Fren1: dei i think ah, i noe wat to get u for ur bday gift la.
Fren2: wat la macha?
Fren1: lighter laa...hv u seen urself smoke? ur a freaking chimney la!
Fren2: hahah! dei...give me anything tat can start a fire oso i'll happy la, anything to lite up a ciggerrate man.
Fren1: dei if i give two stones oso u'll b happy la!

Situation 4:
Advice on looking young always; Smoke; well yea smoking makes u look young, cuz u die young from the impacts. hehe.

Situation 5:
two frens hving a conversation abt their past rships;

Macha1: dei after hvin been tru a lot in rships, the best is to b single laaa
Macha2: hmm..ok la dei, but how many rships hv u been in anyways?
Macha1: how many ah? dei...lost count edi la deiii..
Macha2: hahah...lost count or u din learn the number ZERO in kindergarten? hehehe!

Situations 6:
3 guys hv juz started their holidays, n here they r plannin it out;

GUY1: dei now tat it's our holidays, let's call out sum chicks la dei. wat say u?
GUY2: yea man!
GUY3: dei, as it is on normal days we cant get girls, as tho holidays we gonna get laa...

if u can relate, gud for u...but if u cant, ur probably juz lying to urself ;)