mon voyage dans

Friend or God?

2010-01-06T01:27:00.002+08:00

It was a rather dull monday nite wen a young gentleman, in his early 20's, found himself on a journey to the party lands of hartamas. as he got down from his elegant black transportation, it was clear how unsure he was abt the idea of going to a party where he wud not noe who wud turn up. well he only went juz to meet sum old frens but then again, the party soon b dominated by a bunch of unknowns.

as the nite progressed he found himself indulging in neva ending conversations regarding studies and universities with the members of the party. at this point, he was sitting on a bench with his old fren hvin a usual chat wen suddenly a girl walks on by;

Girl: hey...which one of ur laps do i sit on eh?
Me: ermmm?
Fren1: hehehe..
Girl: k i'll on urs hehe (fren1)
Fren1: eh ur bf will kill me la..
Girl: nahhh he wont..

then the BF comes along with a slice of pizza on his plate

Fren1: bro i dunno ah, she juz came n sat on my lap k. i had nothing to do with this
BF: alaa...so wat, it's juz u man...among frens, i guess it ok *smile*
Fren1: wah! damn nice la u...eh hungry la...i wanna go get another slice of pizza, but lazy la..
BF: here take mine
Fren1: whoa...damn gud fren la u
Me: dude, not oni he lets his gf sit on ur lap, but he even gives u his slice of pizza...haha...tat's not a gud fren, tat's god!
Fren1 & Girl: hahahah!

n suddenly a guy from the party makes a rather impromptu annoucement;

GUY: ok ppl attention, those who want to drink pls make ur way outside, those who don plan to drink, stay where u r.
BF: oi! wat kind of discrimanation is tat ahh?? hahaha

soon he found himself in a smaller group of ppl who apparently don drink.

Me: soo...u don drink huh?
Girl2: hell yea i do.
Me: wa?
Girl2: i'm juz the freakin driver tonite, so yea i hv to b freaking sober..sigh..
Me: haha..okayyy...so i'm guessing the rest r on the same boat as well?
Girl2: u bet! so r u rite?
Me: me? nahhh i don drink...
Girl2: but..but...arent u indian?..
Me: ermm yes.. tat is very true, i bliff tat can concluded from the amount of hair i hv growing on my arms n legs.
Girl2: haha! well it's very rare to c indian guys tat don drink...like they say, ur not indian if u don drink.
Me: hahaha i dunno abt tat but if u don hv a wife at the age of 26 and ur not an able user of the computer, then ur not an indian. hahahah
Girl2: hahaha u 4got abt the mother in law
Me: ohh u mean monster in law rite?
Girl2: hahahaha...so r u indian then?
Me: very much so ;)

a VICKSAMA ORIGINAL

this post is a special tribute to Dennis Ng 1987-2002, a gud fren, brother, n of course, GOD.

Dreams

2009-12-07T22:08:00.002+08:00

Dreams,

Nothing but an image plyed which we have in our minds

a solitude from the outside world...

a saviour from the constitution of hell brought upon the human mind

Dreams,

revealing its splendar with flashes of rainbows that collide,

giving rise to our colourful imaginations,

a rather unique state of mind.

Dreams,

like mirror images screaming blur, if defies us as ppl with capacity of the modern

mentally, a mentally that we carry on towards our demise.

A VICKSAMA ORIGINAL

Thinkin abt Marriage?

2009-11-09T22:36:00.003+08:00

An indian family is having a typical friday nite discussion over dinner in a place called home. when suddenly the eldest son, Raj utters sumtin tat suprised the whole family;

Raj: mum, i think...it's abt time i get married..

Mum:... i told u to get married to tat Priya girl u were dating sumtime back, will u ever listen to me, of course not.... u had to dump her n say her teeth was an issue.

Raj: mum come on, i'm a grown man, i noe wat's best for me. Hv sum faith in me wil u?

Mum: huh..y don i get u arranged to sum of the lovely girls we hv in our indian community, wudn't tat b just pleasant? n pls don say no to tis like the last time.

Raj: hmmmm....

Mum: not bad, ur actually thinkin abt it.

Dad: Sonia, juz leave him alone...

Mum: no dear, my son is a grown man. so it's best i get him married to a nice traditional indian girl in the community.

Youngest son, Desh: okay ms contradiction.

Raj: hahah!

Mum: Is that the way u speak to ur mother Desh?? now u shut up n eat ur chappatti like ur supposed to, put down the fork n eat with ur hands! n Raj, hv u tot abt it?

Raj: hmm...but i need to noe sumtin..

Mum: anything son, ask away, there's so much to noe abt these indian girls i say.

Raj: how is the current chick market in the community anyways?

Desh: it's currently undergoing inflation...

Mum: Desh!.. nonsense, there r lot of beautiful girls within ur age group. tat's y i always ask u to come for those gatherings, so tat u cud fish ard n mayb catch a bite *wink*

Desh: yea,gud fish too!

Mum: y yes, thnk u Desh for agreeing with me..

Desh: yea cuz normal fish, u hv to deep fry them, but THESE fishes r already deep fried for u bro!

Mum: DESH!!!!! one more word from u n ur grounded for a week...make tat two!

Desh: *chews on food coolly*

Raj: well mum, i dunno, life is so uncertain..

Mum: Raju my dear, once u get married everythin will b fine..

Desh: bro, wen a woman gets married, she'll stop worrying, but wen a man gets married, he'll START worrying.

Dad bursts out laughin. Mum starts glaring at dad, dad noes he's not getting for a week. sighhh...

Mum: tat's it!! DESH, GROUNDED FOR TWO WEEEKS.

Raj: hahaha! mum it's ok, he's juz a kid... so if i get married, i'll hv to look for a new employer then...any suggestions?

Desh: how abt....mother in law? hehehe y not? afterall, she pays well (dowri)

Raj:LOL!

Mum:.... so i'm guessing u'll b marrying outside the community the desh?

Desh: wat makes u think i'm not married, mum?

Mum: WAT ON EARTH??!!

Desh: jus kiddin *smiles* lighten up mum, afterall, life is journey, n it's neva always abt settling down n earning well.. it's abt us being happy, as a family.... i love u mum..

Mum: aww... Desh..i love u too, tat was so mature of u dear.

Desh: thks mum, so m i stil grounded?

Mum: yes

Desh: DAMNIT!

Mum: wat language! 3 WEEKS!

a whole lot more of rubbish coming ur way, so keep reading ;)
A VICKSAMA ORIGINAL

University, university...

2009-10-22T23:30:00.002+08:00

well this r sum situations u hope u neva get urself into on ur 1st day of ur undergraduate studies;

Situation 1:
Guy1: hi, my name is natanael, wat's urs?
Guy2: hey there, nice to meet u, i'm ryan..btw u hv any idea where the lecturer is? tat asshole is 15mins late

then a rather short, geeky looking figure walks past these gentlemen.

guy2: ahhh there he is, finally! i'm growing a beard here!

but then the geeky looking person finds himself sitting with the students. suddenly natanael walks up to the hall;

Guy1: alrite, now tat everybody's here, let's start the lesson. ryan cud u run along and get my pen i left on the other side of the campus?
Guy2: .......

Situation 2:
Dude1: duuudeee...check out the assets on tat chick mann... she's so hot man, think i stand a chance?
Dude2: well she's married man, i don think so.
Dude1: wtf man, how do u noe?
Dude2: cuz she's my mum.

Situation 3:
macha 1: dei macha, which class we hvin later at 2pm?
macha 2: err engineering industries dei...
macha 1: ohh, who's teaching ah?
macha 2: Dr Khoo
macha 1: ohhh muz i go ah? izit important?
macha 2: no la dei, no need. tat's y u ONLY paid 34000 dollars a yr to study wat.
macha 1:....

Situation 4:
Lecturer: u there! where do u think ur going?
Student: skipping ur class sir
Lecturer: excuse me? n y's tat?
Student: cuz i wanna study in the library.
Lecturer:......

Situation 5:
a guy who sits in the back row passes a note to a girl sitting in the front row tat says; "hi i'm danny, n u r?"

the girl write a reply saying "hey, i'm jenny, where u from?"

the guys replies "the back row"

wow...seems like lecture halls r so big tat the back row's a country by itself.

Situation 6:
guy1: hey man, i've been sleeping so well ever since uni started
guy2: huh? u crazy? i've been lacking sleep, how izit tat ur getting enuf sleep??
guy1: well, the lecturer's hv been so helpful
guy2: lecturers? huh?
guy1: yea, their classes r so boring i easily sleep the whole morning and afternoon.

Situation 7:
the lecturer is passing out his handouts for the lecture

student: sir, i don understand the questions u hv juz given us. can u explain?
lecturer: it's the answer sheet u idiot. i hvn't passed out the questions yet.

WTF jokes

2009-10-17T00:31:00.003+08:00

these r sum jokes tat wud probably make u go WTF? lol..enjoy

number 1:
Two mosquitoes were riding on their bikes, in super fast speed wen suddenly one of them stopped. as soon as the other mosquito noticed, it stopped too, and asked, "hey y did u stop?"

the other mosquito replied, "sorry, a fly went into my eye"

number 2:
a father comes into the doctor's office with his son

Father: doc, my son has a pen stuck up his nose, what shud i do?
Doc: use a pencil.

number 3:
a dumb ass who's stuck in prison finally has the chance to escape, by jumpin over 100 fences, so he started by jumping the 1st fence, the 2nd until the 99th. tat's wen he said "oh i'm so fed up, think i'll juz go back"

number 4:
10 black men r dying of thirst, wen they finally find a bottle in the dessert. once they open the bottle, it released a genie.
so bein grateful for being released, the genie granted one wish to each of them. so the 1st guy wished tat he was white, so did the 2nd n 3rd n so on, until the last guy, where he wished the genie wud turn all of them back to black...

Social Retardness

2009-10-01T23:56:00.002+08:00

These r sum situations tat u cud possibly hv experienced in ur daily lives... well not really but y not? afterall it is in fact rubbish :D

Situation 1:
Two young gentlemen r hving a conversation in the subway train below city ground level;

GUY1: Dei macha, ur phone got coverage ah?
GUY2: Yea...y dei?
GUY1: Haiyoo, my phone got no coverage laaaaa...
GUY2: Which network u using?
GUY1: celcom laaa... widest coverage my foot!
GUY2: machaa...don curse them, they r rite.
GUY1: huh?
GUY2: yea wat, widest coverage but not deepest coverage rite?

Situation 2:
A my fren of mine from overseas came down to spend his holidays in this country. well it is his 1st time, so many things tat happen here r really new to him. So there's this time when we passed by a sun newspaper stand, ppl tat juz walked on by, kept grabbing a copy. so he asked me\

Fren: y arent they paying for the papers they took?
Me: well it's free man...so y not

so yes. juz wen i tot i had tat doubt cleared sumtin else happened. the next day we passed by the same exact stand, no newspaper copies but there was a (HOT)white lady tourist tat was sitting on the stand, obviously cuz there were no seats n she din wanna sit on the floor. wen my fren saw her, he asked;

Fren: hey can i take her? afterall, like u said, it's free?
Me:.....

Situation 3:
2 frens discuss abt another fren's smokin habit;

Fren1: dei i think ah, i noe wat to get u for ur bday gift la.
Fren2: wat la macha?
Fren1: lighter laa...hv u seen urself smoke? ur a freaking chimney la!
Fren2: hahah! dei...give me anything tat can start a fire oso i'll happy la, anything to lite up a ciggerrate man.
Fren1: dei if i give two stones oso u'll b happy la!

Situation 4:
Advice on looking young always; Smoke; well yea smoking makes u look young, cuz u die young from the impacts. hehe.

Situation 5:
two frens hving a conversation abt their past rships;

Macha1: dei after hvin been tru a lot in rships, the best is to b single laaa
Macha2: hmm..ok la dei, but how many rships hv u been in anyways?
Macha1: how many ah? dei...lost count edi la deiii..
Macha2: hahah...lost count or u din learn the number ZERO in kindergarten? hehehe!

Situations 6:
3 guys hv juz started their holidays, n here they r plannin it out;

GUY1: dei now tat it's our holidays, let's call out sum chicks la dei. wat say u?
GUY2: yea man!
GUY3: dei, as it is on normal days we cant get girls, as tho holidays we gonna get laa...

if u can relate, gud for u...but if u cant, ur probably juz lying to urself ;)

When does shutting up really work?

2009-09-23T23:16:00.003+08:00

this r sum moments where u probably wish u din open ur mouth.

Situation 1;
a young lady by the bar sits on her own, a rather attractive specimen. so a guy walks into the bar n notices her.(DUH). he walks up to her;

LADY: Yes may i help u?
GUY: Wat's ur name doll?
LADY: Sarah
GUY: nice to meet u sarah, my name is Fred Flinstone n i'd like to make ur BEDROCK.

SLAP!

guys walks away ashamed of himself

Situation 2;
a newly transfered student(from a boys skul) juz joined a class in a coed skul. tis is juz one of the few reasons y dudes from boys skuls don fit in well in a coed skul;

TEACHER: alrite class, b4 we begin, wud u like to share anythin? mayb a joke or two?
NEW KID: -raises hand-
TEACHER: jeremy, u'd like to share a joke, with the class?
NEW KID: yes ma'am, What is the difference between an UNDERWEAR & a STAGE CURTAIN?

a brief silence swept the floor

TEACHER: hmm i dunno jeremy, wat's the answer? -smiles-
NEW KID:When you pull down the STAGE CURTAIN, the show is over, but when you pull down the UNDERWEAR..... it is SHOWTIME!
TEACHER:....
TEACHER: jeremy, principal's office now!

din jeremy wish he juz SHUT UP?? lol.

Situation 3;
a joke u definately don wanna share wen ur in a union of wifes; tell tat to this lesbian lady;

LESBIAN: What is the similarity between a wife and a chewing gum?
UNION: we dunno, wat?
LESBIAN: Both are sweet in the beginning but become tasteless and shapeless later.

DAMN!

Situation 4;
one bad advice a dad cud give son wen it's abt sex;

DAD: son i dunno y ur so excited abt tis subject really, i mean sex is like shaving.
SON: huh? wat? y is sex like shaving?
DAD: Well, because no matter how well you do it today... tomorrow you'll have to do it again...

dad..u juz made him even more horny..sighhh

Situation 5;
a government surveyor was assigned to test teenagers today on their general knowledge. however, most tests hv returned back with failed results. once tis test fails, the surveyor wud ask easier questions. for example, if he says a characteristic like smart, teenagers tested muz say the name of a politician tat comes to mind

SURVEYOR: so wat comes to mind wen i say "clueless"?
TEENAGER: PARLIMENT.

ouch!

Situation 6;
u noe wat's the most noble job on earth now? doc? soldier? nahhh... prostitutes la wei..

a married man saw this signboard outside a prostitute's house:
Married MEN not allowed. We serve the needy, not the greedy...

tis women shud b politicians la! LOL

A VICKSAMA ORIGINAL

Coffee is not my cup of tea

2009-09-21T23:16:00.004+08:00

It was a rather usual Friday nite in the town of bangsar, with the weather being generous to its pedestrians along the streets. Picture urself hvin a microscope, n u cud juz magnify towards a group of 3, rather or almost decent young gentlemen. At this point we wud realized tat they’r probably heading towards a party sumwhere at a nearby deli. I was one of them. So yes, we were heading for a party. Haha.

As we entered the restaurant, I stood stunned by it’s atmosphere, where colors of black and red complement each other with harmony. And the vibe was really sumtin to admire I muz say, ppl at diff tables, all mingling, laughin, or in fact, towards the back, getting wasted.

So we walked up to the reserved section, and as I expected, being 3 indian guys, we were late…very late. Almost everybody tat was invited, was done with their meals. However, the moment we were visible to them, the group practically juz stared at us. Then a rather immature voice broke the silence from the background. It was in fact, the bday boy. A rather short dark Indian chap, possibly the darkest Indian eva witnessed.

Bday boy: hey, hi, how r u? thanks for coming la dei…
Fren1: fine fine. Happy bday dei
Fren2: yea macha happy bday
Me: happy err belated bday….
Bday boy: come come, take a seat ppl, and order wat u like.

Well yes, if sum of u reading share the same mindset as me, wat he cud hv meant was “order wat u like, n I’ll pay”. Sorry folks. We’r Indians.he juz said “order wat u like” n tat significantly means sumtin else. Anyways. So we sit down with the group, introductions fill the air, as the 3 of us knew none of them who attended the party.

Fren1: dei macha, pass me the menu pls.

Fren2 passes the menu obviously. Juz moments after he opened the menu, he shrugs his shoulders, goes “hmmm” n puts the menu back down in dismay. Feeling rather queer abt wat juz happened, I asked;

Me: dei, y la?
Fren1: y u asking dei, the moment I opened the menu, the 1st dish itself cost Rm30. After tis we go mamak can ah?
Me and Fren2: Yes PLS!!

So as the nite went on, with the group exchanging jokes and comments, there was tis girl I noticed. She was rather attractive, as she wore a simple semi casual outfit, no big ass necklaces, no HUGE ass rings, basically, not much in the accessory department. But soo wat? Big deal. I noticed her hair was left untied, n she had her reading glasses on, BUT no book in her hands. Awesome. So like every other hormone raged single male, I scooted over to her n introduced myself. As I began getting to noe her, (her name was Shimmi), n I cudn’t help but notice tat she was checking sum other guy out at the table behind us. I felt rather foolish but stil kept my momentum going. Then suddenly, she shocks us by sayin;

Shimmi: tat guy’s really cute, is he from the middle east?

Juz after being shocked by the question, we turned over to observe, and well, he was sitting with another lady. With us being guys, the oni thing in our minds were “he’s with another lady over there, n y’s Shimmi stil looking at him”. The best we cud say was;

Fren1: yea think so.

From then on, I felt like I hv nothing to lose. So I decided to ask her sum questions regarding the perfect guy. C’mon girls, don deny it, u all hv tot abt it.n I’m hopelessly bored so y not. hehe.

Me: So Shimmi, tell me sumtin abt tat perfect guy u’d like to spend ur whole life wit.

She takes a sip of her drink n puts the glass back onto the table.

Shimmi: Wow, is tat wat u always ask girls u’ve juz met? –smiles cheekily-
Fren2: Juz think of us as frens u’ve known for a long long long time laa..
Pffftt yea rite…
Shimmi: haha.. in tat case…my perfect guy…hmmm…

Seriously, y pretend to think? U already hv it registered and programmed in ur head tat if any guy were to come up to u to ask u out, u’d probably juz say no. With tat I decided to give her a hand by asking her questions.

Me: okay, rich guy or average joe?
Shimmi: well obviously I’d like a rich guy laaa.. which girl wudn’t rite?
Me: Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in world. If I'm not there, I go to work. Sigh.
Fren2: hahah. Next question. Which line of work wud u like ur guy to b in?
Shimmi: hmmm I really dunno..sumtin tat earns a lot I suppose?
Me: dear, wat u need is an archaeologist.
Shimmi: huh?
Me: yea, cuz an archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her.
Shimmi: ……
Fren1: heheh. Okay wat abt tat skinny guy over there, wud u date him?
Shimmi: he’s too skinny laaa..
Me: don worry, once u get married to u, he’ll definitely put on weight, it comes with the package. But wat’s ur definition of marriage?
Shimmi: err…well it’s basically based on neva ending love, happiness, almost a completion to life itself. And ur definition? –smiles-
Me: sex,sex,sex, pregnant, kids,work, complain, argue, argue,fight, die.
Fren2:hahah! wat abt ur guy’s figure? Built, toned, skinny, fat?
Shimmi: well it doesn’t really matter la…cuz beauty is oni skin-deep. Nothing more, his personality is much important to me. Cuz it’s rather immature to hv such needs.
Me: u noe, I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want -- an adorable pancreas?
Fren2: hahah! In tat case, will u date the bday boy? I mean he’s very dark, short, but looks doesn’t matter rite? He’s been a gentlemen to u all nite. Personality is intact. Shud b fine rite?
Shimmi: ermm well he’s not my cup of tea laa..
Me: who’s asking u to look at the cup of tea wen there’s coffee, n it’s black! –pointing at the bday boy-
Me: u noe wat they say abt coffee, the richest coffee is the blackest coffee –winks-
Shimmi: ………..

A brief silence swept the floor.

A VICKSAMA ORIGINAL.

2009-09-21T13:19:00.000+08:00

This r the new sketches i've done.

Sketches

2009-09-20T23:48:00.000+08:00

well these r sum of the sketches tat i've already posted on facebook, and sum of u mite hv seen them already.

Step Aside, I'll Bring it up a Notch

2009-09-20T23:08:00.001+08:00

For some of you who hv noticed the date 2day, it's 20/09/2009...or it other words, 20092009...not bad eh? so i tot mayb it wud b a rather suitable time of the yr to launch my new blog. wat's this blog gonna bring to society? well absolutely nothing but rubbish. cuz afterall, a lil doze of rubbish is wat we all need in life rite? ;)

i'll b posting up a lot of material regarding the simple life, or at least the idea i possess tat's related to the matter. so materials such as my artwork, mayb songs lyrics tat i like, or even the ones i write on my own wud make their presence felt. another section i'd like to introduce, r passages tat i've written, mostly ironic or funny bits, fiction, mayb non-fiction, u name it.. as long as it's funny, i post it ;) i wud call these posts, a Vicksama original..ehehe feel free to leave sum feedback! n Biavenue!